Over the next decade, whatever parts of Twilight filtered in was purely through osmosis you learn the surface details of any major franchise just by existing. But that disinterest bled over to the film adaptations just three years later 2008 was for titles like Cloverfield, The Happening, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, films made by Big Cinematic Boys that all contributed to deep-seated trust issues. I was probably like, "how can I read a vampire book for girls when I have all this Korn to listen to?" Just a real little asshole. The first Twilight book didn't cross my radar because I was fourteen years old in 2005, and fourteen-year-old boys are famously incurious pieces of shit. RELATED: 7 Movies Like 'Twilight' to Watch More Supernatural, Swoon-Worthy Romance This is a report of what it's like to experience an entertainment behemoth completely divorced from the pop culture context that turned it into a juggernaut in the first place. If you're here for an explanation, you've come to the wrong place. But with the entirety of Twilight recently arriving on Netflix, there will be scores of newcomers, like me, devouring the saga for the first time, learning ten years after the fact that one of the most successful book/film franchises in history contains a subplot wherein an adult man continuously asserts his intentions to one day be sensual life partners with a girl who is, at that moment, a tiny little baby. If you read the book in 2008 or saw the film in 2011 you know this happens, have kept that information in the sweatiest part of your brain for a decade. This movie made $712 million worldwide-$500 million in just 12 days-and currently stands as the 50th highest-grossing film of all time, despite the fact that in its waning moments Taylor Lautner falls to his knees in romantic ecstasy after making mystical werewolf eye contact with a newborn. In the film The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, after two hours of moonlit vampire-on-human sex, Cronenbergian body horror, and Kellan Lutz just Lutz'in around in the background, a werewolf man falls in love with a baby.
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